Monday, July 8, 2013

Dungeon


           The dungeon was dark.  The palpable air, smelling of moist, moldy bread, dead grass, and faintly of chalk, filled my lungs as if to drown me.  My gasping for air joined the cacophony of drips, dripped down on the stone floor to pooled around uneven spots.  Not that any parts were dry, of course.  I didn’t inherently hate the dampness of it all, for in the beginning it was just damp.  Then came the cold.  The temperature was my torturer, stabbing invisible needles in my nose, my face, my legs, my arms.  He sucked the moisture away, and whispered in my frozen ears that he would take me away, too.  He gripped my fingers in his hands and turned them blue, then purple, then black … but that was before they fell off.  Icy waves of pain rolled through me.  I grew accustomed to my own shrieks of pain as precious heat found new ways to abandon me.  Now he prods my face more; but what control I have left is thrown into keeping my dry mouth shut.  I must keep my tongue! 

 

6 comments:

  1. It was so great! My favorite line was "stabbing invisible needles in my nose..." It was really well written, descriptive, and original.

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  2. Your descriptions are so vivid. I'm cold from just reading it. *shivers*

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  3. Dark, but very elaborate. I greatly enjoyed reading this.

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  4. Ack! I'm terrified now! I really liked your choice of embodying the cold as a man. Very interesting!

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  5. I thought it was really interesting how you described the scent of the dungeon as smelling of dead grass and chalk. As for the rest, awesomely grotesque!

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  6. That was the most beautiful description of torture I have ever read. I mean beautiful in the word use. I actually felt like I was freezing to death.

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