Creative Writing Assignment: Day 1

My Life Without You

Today you were not in school; the chair next to mine was empty. You haven’t missed much. The bathrooms still smell of urine, the cafeteria food still sucks, gum still covers the sidewalks. But things have changed. The flowers don’t smell as sweet. Henry’s jokes can’t make laugh. You’re not here anymore.

   Remember, that ribbon you wore to the party last night. The one you were wearing when Colton Meyers drove you home. I have it, on the ring finger of my right hand. It won’t come off.   

I see him in the school hallways. I see him in the midst of the hundreds of students who walk to and from their classes. But he is the only one I recognize. I thought it was impossible to hate a person, but now know I know I was wrong. His unscathed figure mocks me. I hate him; I want him to burn in hell. But it’s just as much my fault as it is his, and the knowledge of this crushes me. Every time I close my eyes, the scene replays in my head. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and sometimes I can hardly breathe.

I should have stopped you. I knew he was drunk. But I knew that you really liked him. I wanted you to be happy. So I let you go, despite the little voice that screamed inside of me. I wish I could turn back time; I would have told you no. You would have been mad at me for the time being, but not for long. Now, you will never be mad again. I will never see your face grow red from too much laughter. I will no longer be able to tease you for sleeping with your stuffed elephant.

I’m sorry. God, I am so sorry.

If you can hear me, if my words can somehow cross the infinite boundary that separates life from death, I want you to know that you will always be my best friend, and I will always have this ribbon tied to the ring finger of my right hand.