Monday, June 25, 2012
An Ethereal Guardian
The whisper of thunder gently nudges me awake. I murmur
wordlessly and tug the warm cotton of my blanket past my shoulders. My legs
move with the unconscious grace of sleep until I’m curled over myself. Hugging
my knees I burrow deeper in the bed, cocooned in a warm layer of sheets. The
silk of my pajama top rubs my back as I shift on my side. Slivers of dawning
light illuminate the cracks of my blinds. Again comes the quiet rumble of
thunder. The sound is one of safety, the protective rumble of an ethereal
guardian providing comfort and sanctuary. I listen, eager for the soft crescendo
of rain. No sound is forthcoming saving the low tremor of the air conditioner
and the anonymous creak from overhead. The dim lighting of my room encourages
my eyes to close. I snuggle deeper in my bed and enjoy the peaceful solitude of
an early morning. I’ll wake up in five more minutes…
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This piece has some great sensory details, Alyssa. You paid very close attention to tactile details, and that's a great thing for a writer to get in the habit of. I love the opening too. "The whisper of the thunder," is a very lyric opening. Push that personification. What might the thunder be whispering? Think about a character who might hear a whisper in the thunder, and whose voice she might be hoping for.
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