Flabbergast:
Verb. A method of corporal punishment most often used on 18th Century British Warships, involving the wrongdoer being stripped, flayed, and sometimes keelhauled.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Schism (n)
Schism:
1. A fear of chisels, or being chiseled to death from the inside out.
2. A common slang word for when someone cannot remember the proper name of an item.
1. A fear of chisels, or being chiseled to death from the inside out.
2. A common slang word for when someone cannot remember the proper name of an item.
Ulama (ooh-luh-mah) N.
This is a common household item found in Europe. It is a disinfectant spray used on windows and counters to ensure they stay clean. It is used in some countries to avoid llama attacks.
Celery in my Tuna
What's worse than celery in your tuna? Not much. Besides bugs.. and we've got plenty of those here, too. But that could be an entirely different post.
Celery is the bane of my existance when talking about tuna sandwhiches. It's like you have your nice fish on some whole wheat bread and your pickle on the side and it's ruined as soon as you take a bite. The crunchy, stringy, unpleasant texture of celery enters your mouth and the sandwhich is ruined.
I proceeded to pick out every last piece of celery until the sandwhich was edible once more.
Celery should be extinct.
Celery is the bane of my existance when talking about tuna sandwhiches. It's like you have your nice fish on some whole wheat bread and your pickle on the side and it's ruined as soon as you take a bite. The crunchy, stringy, unpleasant texture of celery enters your mouth and the sandwhich is ruined.
I proceeded to pick out every last piece of celery until the sandwhich was edible once more.
Celery should be extinct.
Gravy
Quite honestly, I didn't see very many gross things yesterday. Susquehanna's campus is beautiful, especially compared to the grossness of my home. Gross is how everything in New York smell's faintly of pee; gross is a dead rat on the subway tracks. Gross is not here.
But there was one thing that made me cringe. My school lets us leave the building for lunch, and so I've never had to suffer through the dreaded cafeteria food you hear about as a child. To me, Susquehanna's food has seemed pretty good, even though I have nothing to compare it with. But there was one thing last night that made my stomach squirm.
Online for dinner, all I could think about was my hunger and the smells rising from the hot food. The pasta looked good, as did it's sauce. And even the mashed potatoes looked good.
But then came the gravy. Poured liberally onto the lump of mashed potatoes and reminding me uncomfortably of the congealed chicken fat in my aunt's fridge last Thanksgiving, it dribbled down the sides of the mashed potato mountain and trickled into the other food. In no time it was mixed with the marinara sauce, the red and grayish cream separating with what looked like a thin film of grease in between. When I lifted a forkful of pasta, the gravy dripped from it with the viscosity of molasses, a slow, thoughtful drip that fell--you guessed it--into my water glass, slithering over the grainy ice cubes to float in the water like some bizarre sea sponge. To me, unfortunately, it looked more like sea sponge vomit as it disappeared deep into the recesses of the paper cup.
I didn't drink the rest of that water.
But there was one thing that made me cringe. My school lets us leave the building for lunch, and so I've never had to suffer through the dreaded cafeteria food you hear about as a child. To me, Susquehanna's food has seemed pretty good, even though I have nothing to compare it with. But there was one thing last night that made my stomach squirm.
Online for dinner, all I could think about was my hunger and the smells rising from the hot food. The pasta looked good, as did it's sauce. And even the mashed potatoes looked good.
But then came the gravy. Poured liberally onto the lump of mashed potatoes and reminding me uncomfortably of the congealed chicken fat in my aunt's fridge last Thanksgiving, it dribbled down the sides of the mashed potato mountain and trickled into the other food. In no time it was mixed with the marinara sauce, the red and grayish cream separating with what looked like a thin film of grease in between. When I lifted a forkful of pasta, the gravy dripped from it with the viscosity of molasses, a slow, thoughtful drip that fell--you guessed it--into my water glass, slithering over the grainy ice cubes to float in the water like some bizarre sea sponge. To me, unfortunately, it looked more like sea sponge vomit as it disappeared deep into the recesses of the paper cup.
I didn't drink the rest of that water.
The Scene
To be honest I cannot off the top of my head think of anything that struck me as disgusting yesterday. But there is an awful lot of construction going on all over the campus right now so I will stick to that.
Everywhere you go around the university you see scaffolding, plywood piles, port-a-potties, and giant dumpsters sitting outside buildings. It all seems out of place amongst the green grass and trees. Chain link fences block off sidewalks and some parts of the roads are covered with cement-like gravel and wooden boards. Construction workers wearing hard hats replace little brown squirrels in these areas.
If you take a stroll down the paths of the university you will see it all. Though I know the renovations are probably needed, to me the construction takes away from the natural, peaceful beauty inspired by the towering stone buildings and lush lawns. This may not be what some people think of as disgusting, but to me labelling something as disgusting means that that something takes away from a usually picturesque scene.
Everywhere you go around the university you see scaffolding, plywood piles, port-a-potties, and giant dumpsters sitting outside buildings. It all seems out of place amongst the green grass and trees. Chain link fences block off sidewalks and some parts of the roads are covered with cement-like gravel and wooden boards. Construction workers wearing hard hats replace little brown squirrels in these areas.
If you take a stroll down the paths of the university you will see it all. Though I know the renovations are probably needed, to me the construction takes away from the natural, peaceful beauty inspired by the towering stone buildings and lush lawns. This may not be what some people think of as disgusting, but to me labelling something as disgusting means that that something takes away from a usually picturesque scene.
Monday, June 27, 2011
GET A ROOM
They were a regular, every-day couple, both on the tall side, both in their late teens, early twenties, who defined the word average. Their overall appearances were not necessarily revolting, it was their actions. They sat on a cold, metal park bench, and were totally making out in the middle of campus. Of course, I just happened to look up right as the two slobbered all over each other’s faces (ew, it feels gross just writing that -_-), and by the time I convinced Haley to glance out the library window, they had already walked away, off to make-out in front of some other unfortunate child.
Call me old-fashioned, but it’s totally gross when people are tonguing in the middle of a grassy, sunshiny day, all out in the open, with their sweaty palms all wrapped around each other. C'est la vie, I guess. So, yeah, basically, the moral of the story: get a room, not a park bench.
All I have to say for now. Adieu.
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