Friday, July 11, 2014

The After Effect


to buy:

coffee filters

orange juice

toilet paper

            Paris held much more glamor in the movies than it did in my experience so far. The landlord, an aging man with a stained wife beater and a tendency to yawn often, handed me the keys to my new miniscule apartment when I arrived in the old building on the east side of the city. This, I realized, was the product of the money I’d been saving since my freshman year of high school. The dated wallpaper, splotched with yellow, hung separate from the wall in the corners. I slid a hand across the wobbly table, coughing at the dust clouds it sent flying into the air. No chairs, I noticed, but thankfully there was a large collection of chipped mugs.
            Through an open doorway to my right there was a bathroom. The claustrophobic room was ill lit, with nothing but a dim bulb hanging above the cloudy mirror. The decrepit claw foot tub was squeezed into the corner between the sink and the toilet. I turned the knob of the faucet. A dribble of lukewarm water sputtered out from the showerhead and sprayed almost everywhere except into the tub. No shower curtain hung on the rod.
But none of that mattered, because I was young and full of energy. I was independent and self-supporting, just like I assured my fretful mother when I first left. Just like I swore to James when he’d thrown me out on my own last week.
“You could stay here until you manage to get a ticket back home,” James had said, his voice dripping in something I was supposed to believe was sympathy. But I had no intention of leaving the place I’d worked so hard to get to, even if my original reasons were impractical. That was back in my starry-eyed days, when, in my mind, Paris was the City of Love.
But I didn’t need the asshole to hold my hand, I thought. It’s just like I said. I was independent, and I could survive without something as trivial as a silly shower curtain.

to buy:

bleach

chairs

shower curtain

I tried to walk as if I had a purpose, like someone who knew what she was doing. That was the trick wasn’t it? No judgmental Frenchman would stare at me as long as I played the part. It was so difficult, though, to pretend as if I was accustomed to walking in between the ornate buildings so tightly clustered together, like they had squeezed every one they could into each tiny street. I couldn’t keep myself from admiring the fluffy, pink cherry blossom trees that lined the River Seine. How did any of the Parisians tire of seeing the tip of the majestic Eiffel Tower poking above the rooftops in the distance?
 But more practically, did the French not find it frustrating to have five different shops for groceries, when America simply offered one large supermarket? Strange words on price tags blurred and merged together. All of those years of French classes hadn’t prepared me for navigating these markets. Even after living with James for the past seven months, I still didn’t know what was where within the multitude of street side shops. Even after seven months, harsh glares still met my choppy, awkward sentences.  
            Coffee filters. Orange juice. Toilet paper. Easy enough. Those had been expected. Chairs? A shower curtain? But I supposed I shouldn’t have been surprised. Inexpensive living arrangements were prime traps for underpaid romantics. Especially the desperate kind.
            “Excusez moi?” I asked.
            The worker slowly swiveled her eyes towards me, eyebrows raised so high they almost disappeared into frizzy bangs.
            “S’il vous plait?” I added pitifully.
            As if those eyebrows couldn’t have gone any higher. For God’s sake speak English lady, I could practically hear her complaining.
            I pushed my list towards her. “Could you help...please?”
            She chuckled and returned to stacking cans.
            “Merci beaucoup,” I muttered under my breath.

-

I admit that I cried when James told me that he was ending it. It was just so abrupt. “You’re too naïve Annie,” he’d said. “And we were so young back in college.” He talked about college like years had passed since we graduated. Did it matter whose idea it had been to scamper off to Paris together? I wondered. But I supposed he was right. What else besides incredible naivety would bring a person to leave everything behind, and all for one boy?
            Last night I managed to get one of the four stove burners working, but I overestimated the amount of spaghetti I could eat all by myself. And when I accidentally set the table for two, I blushed before remembering that I was alone.

-

            Out on the streets, thin winding sidewalks packed with people made walking difficult, as I was already struggling to keep my brown paper bags, which lacked proper handles, from splitting open. The walkers in business suits didn’t stop for anyone. And the tourists were worse. Sorry ma’am. I’m sure there is nothing more important than a posed family photo, but no, I cannot take the damn picture for you. Did she expect me drop all bags to rush to her aid? The nerve. On top of that, the bike riders swung around corners so sharply they could take your head off. Refer to this for the reason that my bag of canned goods ended up making vegetable soup on the cobblestones.  

to buy:

reusable bags

batteries

dish soap

I let out a shriek of frustration when the ice-cold droplets, as sharp as shards of glass, pierced my skin. I leapt over the lip of the claw foot tub, nearly slipping on the greying tile. To top off the bitter experience, water lay in puddles across the entirety of the bathroom floor. Shivering at the thought of being forced to shower again in the open air, I gritted my teeth. Shower curtains were as impossible to find in France as a good Kinder Surprise was nonexistent in the States. James was obsessed with those things, and despite his efforts to hide them from me, I was well aware of the secret stash he’d kept hidden in his desk drawer.
Last night I’d tossed and turned for hours trying to fall asleep. The bed had been too spacious and cold, but I blamed my inability to close my eyes on the thin, rock-hard mattress. So maybe it was the lack of sleep that finally sent me over the edge, but I’d had it that morning with the damn shower curtain.
The hallway outside of my apartment was cramped and enclosed. A chandelier with cheap, plastic diamonds hung over a dusty carpet faded with age. My socked feet pattered along the rug, which ran along the length of the hallway. Behind the furthermost door lived the landlord. I was rapping on the knocker before I could give my courage the opportunity to fail me. Ferocious barking greeted me, but I held on to my resolve, crossing my arms over my fluffy white bathrobe. Monsieur Lebeau pulled open the door and, after shoving the dog away from him with his foot, gazed at me sleepily. “Êtes-vous ici pour payer le loyer?” he asked in rapid French.
            “I’m not paying the rent until you fix my God-awful apartment!” I said.
            He raised his eyebrows. “You want to live here, no?”
            “These aren’t livable conditions!” I cried.
The landlord scratched his unshaven chin and gazed at me blankly. His hair was long and unwashed, and he constantly flicked his head to the side to keep it from mingling with his eyelashes. A smell of stale beer and wet dog drifted through the open doorway.
I stomped my foot. “That apartment is a piece of merde!”
            This time his eyebrows narrowed. “What is it you need?”
            I ticked them off on my fingers. “Some chairs? Maybe a stove with more than one functioning burner? What about a mattress where I can’t feel the springs? Oh, and a shower curtain would be pretty damn useful!”
            For a brief second, Monsieur Lebeau stared at me. With a sudden, “Ah-ha!” his face brightened, and he held up a finger. “Une seconde.”
            I threw my hands up in the air. “Finally!”
            He returned to the doorway a moment later. “A shower curtain, you asked?” he said with an eager smile, holding out a white bed sheet.

to buy:

duct tape

broom

a new landlord

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