The peal of the church bells in the
distance came to an end, even as their ring echoed after the final knell. As
the final echo faded out of the range of sound, a young brunette of about
seventeen years named Louise woke up after another night of limited sleep.
While Louise struggled to get out of bed, she heard her father’s burly voice
call to her from downstairs:
“Louise, hurry up now, or else
you’ll be late for Catholic school” He said definitively.
Louise quickly got up, dressed in
the appropriate attire and went downstairs to meet her family for breakfast.
Her mother was preparing poached eggs and fresh-squeezed orange juice while her
father sat at the table reading the newspaper. Once her father caught sight of
her he began talking to her in a somewhat disinterested tone.
“Hello dear, did you sleep well?”
“Yes daddy” she said.
“Well that’s good. After all, it is
a nice day out there, a product of the good Lord’s work.”
Louise sat down at the table,
famished, and was about to partake in the eggs that her mother prepared for
her. When she was about to take a forkful of eggs, her mother snapped at her
for forgetting to pray first.
“Louise, are you really that greedy
that you would take some eggs without saying the Lord’s Prayer first?”
“No mom, sorry” Louise said.
After the prayer was said, Louise began
eating her breakfast, partly because of hunger and partly because of limited
time before the bus showed up. When she finished, she thanked her mother for
the breakfast and quickly washed the plate. Louise, in a rush, grabbed her bag
and gave her parents a quick goodbye before she walked out to the bus stop.
After she closed the door, her parents communicated silently to each other
regarding Louise’s behavior and how it was near “unholy” to almost forget to
pray before eating.
Once Louise was outside and waiting for
the bus, she was approached by her best friend, Jen. The sight of Jen let
Louise know that it was going to be a good day. Louise always considered Jen to
be a renegade of sorts despite having parents just as, if not more, devout than
her own. Jen was Louise’s role model, she was strong, independent, and knew how
to look after herself; whereas Louise was always more submissive to her
parents, teachers and just about anybody in a higher position than herself. While
Jen was not outside of her personal Catholic beliefs, she was certainly more
liberal with her lifestyle in Louise’s eyes.
“Hey Louise, how’s it going?” Jen asked.
“Oh, pretty good, at least it’s a nice
day outside” Louise responded.
“Yeah, well, enjoy it while you can,
because Ms. Kristoff is back from her sick time.”
“Oh no, not her. At least it was fun
while it lasted.”
“Yeah, but what’re you gonna do?”
To Louise, and most other people in the
school, Ms. Kristoff was the worst teacher ever. She always hated how Ms.
Kristoff would use the yardstick in the classroom to smack students across the
knuckles when they acted up. Since she had a short temper, the yardstick was
frequently used and most students couldn’t even feel their knuckles by the end
of the week. Louise and Jen’s hands had just healed up when Ms. Kristoff
returned, and didn’t want to go back to having red and swollen knuckles.
The bus came and picked up Louise and Jen
to bring them to Catholic school. After
a couple of other stops in their neighborhood, the bus arrived to the school
and students walked off the bus hesitatingly towards the school. The school
itself was nothing more than a couple of flat gray blocks stacked next to one another
with little to distinguish them aside from their sizes. A couple of windows
were carved out of pity on the sides of them, giving way to classrooms that
were sparsely decorated, say for the desks, chairs, bookshelves, charts and
globe or two. The most decorative thing of all was the cross at the front
entrance with a bloodied up Jesus painfully nailed to it and the crown of
thorns clearly shown sticking into the scalp of the savior. Not even the actual
death of Christ could have looked as painful as this statue was.
“That’s the man who died for
humanity…looks like he didn’t die for much” Louise thought to herself.
Through the sea of khaki pants, blue
skirts and matching vests with white shirts beneath them, Louise felt oddly in
place as she walked over to her locker. With the routine turns of the
combination lock, the door swung open and greeted Louise with a pile of books
and papers. When she grabbed what she needed, she looked at the mirror she
placed on the inside of the locker door and gave an audible sigh. Looking at
herself in the mirror, she was getting a good look at herself and saw that she
wasn’t happy with the way things were. She wished that she could have been a
different for her in terms of liberties and a less restrictive atmosphere. The
Catholic lifestyle wasn’t for her, and if there was a God, any god, she
imagined that they would not want her, or anybody, to live life the way they
do.
Closing her locker, Louise saw from the
other side of the hall the unmistakable figure of Jeremy Larsson, her
heartthrob. She admired Jeremy for his devoutness and studiousness as well as
his rebellious behavior. He was the kind of guy who would get everything done
he needed to do in a few short hours efficiently and go out partying the night
away. Despite his rebellious behavior, he always knew his limits when he came
to drinking and quit marijuana after one time due to the sluggish behavior that
followed. Jeremy was an even balance of the two halves of work and play, but in
this school, he was seen as troublemaker for not devoting his whole personality
to work and worship. The teachers despised him, which is why Louise liked him.
When Louise saw Jeremy walking towards
her, she immediately clenched up and broke out into a cold sweat, fearing that
anything she did would make him think of her as weird. Louise always worried
that she was always too obedient to be with Jeremy, and she would never fit his
rebel agenda. However, Jeremy came over to her with a smile on his face and
asked her if she would like to go to a party.
“M…me, r-really?” She asked.
“Yeah, you seem like a cool person. It’ll
be tonight at 8:00 at my house since my parents are out of town” Jeremy
replied.
“Oh, um, I don’t think I can make it, I
have some homework I need to catch up on.”
“Okay, that’s fine, if you change your
mind, just stop by at my house.”
With that, Jeremy turned and walked away,
leaving Louise forlorn at her one opportunity to get close with Jeremy. The
class bell rang scaring Louise into thinking that she’d be late for class. With
a brisk pace, she gathered up everything she needed and headed over to her
class. She was one minute late, which she didn’t worry too much about, but when
she got inside, she saw that Ms. Kristoff was there. A massive stone formed in
her throat as the sight of the crotchety old teacher deepened her woes.
“Louise, the bell rang one minute ago,
why are you late?” Ms. Kristoff asked in a raspy voice.
“I’m sorry, but I’ve had a lot to think
about back at my locker” she said, with her mind still focused on Jeremy.
“Well if that’s so, stick out your hands,
palms down.”
Hesitantly, Louise stuck her shaking
hands out and awaited the pain from the yardstick. An audible swoop through the
air preceded the sickening smack that crashed on the back of Louise’s hands.
Almost immediately, red marks began forming on her hands as her peers watched
the whole scenario in stunned silence. Ms. Kristoff ordered Louise back to her
seat where Jen, eyes widened looked at Louise’s reddened hands.
“Looks as though she’s fully recovered
her strength” Jen said.
“…plus more” Louise added back.
Louise’s hands were feeling much better
by the time the school day ended, but could still feel the sting of the
yardstick. The sharp pain traveled all throughout the rest of her hands giving
them a painful tingling sensation worse than what Ms. Kristoff usually gave.
When Louise got off the bus, she went in her home where her parents looked as
if they haven’t moved from their spot since morning, minus the plates and a few
papers. They seemed indifferent to Louise’s return and only took full notice
when they saw the remains of the red imprints on her hands.
“What happened Louise?” her father said.
“Ms. Kristoff came back today and gave me
a rapping on my hands with the yardstick,” Louise said.
“What did you do this time?” Her mother
asked.
“I was one minute late for class” Louise
said.
“Louise, I thought we agreed that you
would be on time for your classes this year, we don’t want you to start
slipping up.”
“But it was only one minute, that’s all.”
“Doesn’t matter, sloth is sloth, and you
know that is one of the sins that the Lord abhors, don’t you?” Her father said.
“Yes I do know that.” Louise said.
“Okay, now go upstairs and finish your
homework.”
Louise trudged up the stairs with her
backpack not wanting to do her homework. Instead, she put the bag down on her
floor, opened up her closet to get some moisturizer for her skin, as it felt
unusually chapped. In the middle of rubbing it on her skin she heard a voice
say to her “I think it’s awful how they treat you.”
“Who…who said that” Louise said stunned.
“It’s me, I said that,” The voice said.
“Who exactly is ‘me’?”
“Who do you think? Turn around.”
With a refrained motion, Louise turned
around to see nothing more than her reflection in her full-sized mirror.
“Who are you? Where are you?” Louise
asked frightened.
“Right in front of you, numb-nuts” The
voice said rudely.
Louise couldn’t believe what she was
seeing. It was her own reflection that was talking to her of its own volition. Beginning
to feel a little light-headed, she couldn’t tell whether it was really
happening or whether it was her imagination. Either way, she decided to speak
to it to see what it had to say.
“So…you are me?” She asked.
“No shit” The reflection replied.
“Well you are awfully rude for a
reflection of me.”
“Well I’d rather be that way as opposed
to the piss bucket you are for everyone else.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Look at you, you let everyone walk all
over you like a freakin’ door mat. You cower before everyone as if they were
going to hang you from the nearest tree branch and every time I look at you as
your reflection, you make me want to puke.”
“What is it that you want from me?”
“Simple, I’m here to open you up and undo
the damage that the Catholic lifestyle has done to you.”
“What are you talking about? The Catholic
life is a blessed and sacred one.”
“Right, by telling people that they can’t
love whoever they want to love and devote their lives 24/7 to an old man in the
sky sounds like the ideal life for me.”
“You take that back, God loves us all.”
“If God loves everyone then why is there
so much wrong with the world?”
“God works in mysterious ways.”
“Uh-huh, sure, and next you’re going to
tell me that he sentences everybody who doesn’t believe in him to burn for all
eternity.”
Stunned by what her reflection just said,
Louise asked a question that mortified her to think about:
“Are you the devil?”
“I don’t know, I could be, the question
is do you want me to be?”
“I’d rather you not.”
“Well then, I’m not, but I’m still going
to help you. First step, you are going to that party tonight at Jeremy’s.”
“But I have too much to do.”
“Oh please, the man upstairs won’t mind.
Go to that party, have some fun, and you are going to talk to Jeremy.”
“But what will my parents say?”
“Screw them, they wouldn’t know fun if it
smacked them upside the head with a crowbar.”
Louise thought for a while and then
decided that she will go to the party, much to her reflection’s delight. But if
she were going to go, she would have to be sneaky to get around her parents.
She waited until around 7:30 when she knew her parents were watching
television, then as carefully as she could, she snuck out through the back door.
Once on the street, she made her way to Jeremy’s house when she questioned if
she was doing the right thing. Then she remembered what her reflection said and
how this was an opportunity to speak to Jeremy and made her way boldly to his
house. When she got there, she saw that she was early, but Jeremy was beginning
to set up the party and was glad to see her.
“Hey, glad you could make it.” Jeremy
said.
“I know I said I couldn’t make it
earlier, but I decided to stop by and have a little fun” Louise said calmly.
Helping Jeremy set up some decorations
and drinks, Louise saw some of the people from Catholic school show up. As the
night went on, people became progressively drunk and even took to the bedrooms.
Louise had a few drinks, but did not feel herself get as drunk as some of the
other people had. At one point in the night, Jeremy asked her to come into the
bedroom with him, Louise knew where this was going and was nervous. Instead,
she asked to use the bathroom to wash her face quickly.
Louise looked up from the sink with after
a quick splash of water was thrown on her face and after drying her face off,
she looked in the mirror; which then began talking to her.
“He asked you to go into the bedroom
didn’t he?” The reflection asked.
“Yes…he did. What do I do?” Louise said.
“What do you want to do?”
“Well I really want to sleep with him,
but-“
“Then that’s what you’re going to do.”
“But I promised to save myself for
marriage.”
“Why? If he wants it, and you want it,
then what’s the trouble? Do you seriously think that you’re the first person to
have premarital sex? I can bet that half the kids in this house are having sex
right now and none of them are married.”
“But it…it’s wrong.”
“You won’t be saying that when you’re in
the boudoir with him.”
“My religion-“
“Don’t give me any of that crap! If I
wanted a sermon I would have gone with you to Sunday mass for fuck’s sake. Get
out there and live your life as how you want and not how your parents,
teachers, or some invisible man in the sky wants you to.”
Given a lot to think about, Louise went
back outside, firmly resolved to sleep with Jeremy. She met him in the hallway,
took him by the hand and into the bedroom closest to them. She asked Jeremy if
he had protection, he grabbed a condom from his pocket and was ready to make
love to him.
An hour later, they both exited the
bedroom feeling satisfied and whole. Louise looked at her watch and decided
that it was time to go home before her parents found out that she was gone.
After giving Jeremy one final kiss, she left while the party was still going
strong. She didn’t care who saw her come out of the bedroom with Jeremy; she
was thrilled to have done such a rebellious act.
For the walk home, Louise felt proud of
herself and could not believe that she did something like that. She couldn’t
wait to tell her reflection, even though it probably already knew, but even if
it did, she still wanted to tell them. For once, she did something that she
wanted, not what her parents wanted, not what her teachers wanted, probably not
even what God wanted. She began to think the reflection was right; it’s a big
universe with over 7 billion people on a blue dust speck and two of those
people having a bit of innocent and safe fun. If that’s the case, then why
should God care about what she did that given night? After all, there was
plenty going on in the world: people starving, pointless wars, incurable
diseases, plus more, and if God was focusing on one teenage girl having sex,
then he’s not as all-knowing as we think him to be.
“He sent his own son down here to be
killed by us. If he needed to do that, then maybe we don’t need to be saved,”
Louise thought. “It’s a short life after all, and what’s the point in living it
if every aspect of your life has to be governed according to what some people
said 2000 years ago.”
While, she was proud of what she did, a
series of questions regarding the existence of God plagued her. Existentialist
beliefs were now swarming inside of her and occupying what had once been an
undying love of God. Nietzsche’s words “God is dead, and we have killed him”
were planting firm roots in her mind, and sending her down a path of unbelief.
As for her reflection, she still had no idea what the point of it was; but
whatever it was, it was helping her in ways she could not have pictured before.
But that would have to wait, since she was arriving home now.
Before she even opened the door, it swung
wide open with her father standing at the doorway bearing a furious expression.
Snapping out of her previous state, she began trembling in fear when she saw
her father this way. His hair was uncombed and parted somewhat into a pair of
horns on his head while his eyes flashed with fire of the hottest caliber.
“Get…in…here…now” he said through gritted
teeth.
Obediently, Louise walked inside and saw
her mother in the same mood as her father: a furious rage.
As Louise walked past her, her mother
caught a whiff of some of the alcohol off Louise and stopped her in her tracks.
“Have you been out drinking? You have,
haven’t you, don’t lie to me. You certainly have been drinking,” said Louise’s
mother before even giving Louise a chance to answer.
“She’s been drinking the devil’s
mouthwash?” her father asked.
“Louise, how could you do this to us and
to the good Lord himself?” Her mother asked now in tears.
“We go upstairs to check and make sure
that you were doing your homework and instead, we find that you have been out
drinking. How dare you do this to us…you know what, go upstairs and go to bed,
and not another peep out of you.” Her father said.
Without a single word said in response,
Louise went up to her room indifferently. Putting her bag down by her desk, she
changed into her pajamas and opened up her mirror to talk to her reflection.
“Your parents are mad, aren’t they?” The
reflection asked.
“Yes they are” Louise responded.
“You didn’t tell them about Jeremy did
you?”
“No they just found that I was drinking.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Aside from being a little buzzed, this
may be the best night of my life.”
“Glad to hear it, you got to live a
little, have a few drinks, hook up, and most importantly you made your parents
angry; like a normal teenager.”
The word normal struck Louise’s mind and
made her realize that for the first time, she acted the way a normal teenager
would. She loved this newfound freedom and was willing to express it in any way
possible. But she felt incredibly tired and realized that she had school the
next day. After bidding her reflection farewell, she brushed her teeth and went
to bed.
The next morning, Louise had a bit of a
hangover and felt like vomiting when she smelled breakfast. Carefully, she put
on her clothes and tried to balance herself in her constantly shifting room.
When she got downstairs, her parents were sitting around the table and took
absolutely no notice of her at first. When Louise sat down, her mother began
speaking in a firm tone:
“Louise, you’re father and I are
disappointed in you.”
“That’s right, you have made us terribly
upset for the first time in years” her father said.
“A good morning would be nice” Louise
thought to herself.
“As punishment for your behavior, you are
officially grounded for two months.” Her mother said.
“Grounded? What am I? Thirteen?” Louise
thought to herself.
Feeling better after sitting down, Louise
began to eat her scrambled eggs, when her father stopped her immediately.
“Louise! Have you forgotten to say the
Lord’s Prayer again?”
“The Lord’s prayer? Why should I pray to
him?” Louise said indignantly.
Absolutely flabbergasted by what she
said, her mother said in a voice that was near yelling:
“What did you say?!”
Thinking about what her reflection would
say and all she thought about last night, Louise told her parents what she
thought of God.
“Why should we pray for some invisible
man in the sky when he hasn’t done anything for us? Take a look around the
world: war, poverty, famine, and much more, what kind of a God would allow
that? The only reason that religion, Catholicism primarily, is still in
existence is because people are too stupid to realize that there is no God and
that we are on our own. All that I see out of religion is a method of
controlling people when they are stupid enough to realize that they need to be
controlled. If this world is a part of God’s creation, then I want no part of
it.” Louise said passionately.
Uncomprehending of what Louise said, her
parents stared at her until her father said:
“Three months.”
Realizing that the bus was going to be at
her stop soon, Louise grabbed her bag and went out to the stop without a
goodbye to her parents. Feeling somewhat satisfied with herself, she was glad
to tell her parents what she thought after years of forced devotion. Once
there, Louise saw that Jen was there before her and upon first sight of Louise,
Jen had a smile a mile wide on her face.
“Is it true, that you went to Jeremy’s
house last night and got wasted? Oh my God, I can’t believe you…you...holy
crap!” Jen said excitedly.
The bus showed up while Jen was
trying to find her words and the two of them got on. While on the way to
school, Jen kept on asking Louise questions about what she did at the party,
each answer leaving Jen completely speechless.
When the bus arrived to school, Louise
looked up at the bloodier than usual Jesus on the cross. She was disgusted by
it, not only by its appearance, but also by how her religion depicted itself
with such imagery. There was a man who was truly suffering, undergoing one of
the most horrific punishments possible and there he was, serving as nothing
more than an ornament for the otherwise dull school. Louise sneered at it as
she made her way inside.
Upon opening her locker, she looked in
the mirror as her reflection took consciousness once more.
“Grounded for three months? Oh boy that’s
rich,” the reflection said whilst laughing.
“I know, right? That’s exactly what I
thought”
“And their reactions about what you said
about God…that was the best.”
“It does feel good to get that out.”
“It doesn’t have to stop there, you
know.”
“What do you mean?”
“That old witch you have in a little
while, Ms. Kristoff, she could also benefit from one of your lectures.”
“Oh, if I did that then she’d rap my
knuckles to a bloody pulp.”
“Please, she’s 70 something years old. If
she didn’t have that yardstick, what could she do to you?”
Louise thought about that carefully, not
once did she see Ms. Kristoff without a yardstick. If she didn’t have it, she
thought, then she would be defenseless.
“I’ll leave you to that thought” the
reflection said.
With that, Louise closed the locker and
had her thoughts interrupted by the ringing bell. She made it to class one
minute late and Ms. Kristoff was not happy in the slightest. As Louise
expected, she stood in front of the class with yardstick in hand, fully intent
on punishing Louise.
“Louise, did you not hear the bell 60
seconds ago” Ms. Kristoff said angrily.
“Oh come on, I’m 60 seconds late, so
what?” Louise said.
“So what? I expect you to be here by the
time that bell rings.”
“Ms. Kristoff, don’t you think that
you’re being irrational?”
The whole class gasped when Louise said
this and worried that Ms. Kristoff was going to hurt her more than usual. Even
Jen was hoping that Louise would stop before Ms. Kristoff got even angrier.
“That’s it! Extend your hands” Ms.
Kristoff said.
Louise did as she was told; she extended
her hands out and readied herself to be whacked on the knuckles. Once Ms.
Kristoff had the yardstick at its highest point, she brought it down with quick
velocity, directly aimed at Louise’s knuckles. But, at the last second, Louise
took Ms. Kristoff by surprise and grabbed the yardstick. After wrenching and
twisting it out of Ms. Kristoff’s bony and arthritic hand, Louise held the
yardstick tight in her grip. The whole class was in awe as Ms. Kristoff was
disarmed and Louise wielded the weapon they all feared. Filled with the rage from
all the memories of Ms. Kristoff’s beatings, Louise swung the ruler hard onto
her hands with a sickening crack. Ms. Kristoff cried out in pain while the rest
of the class watched in stunned satisfaction. Louise did not let up; she
whacked Ms. Kristoff with the yardstick in different areas of her body. One
time, she even hit Ms. Kristoff across the face, resulting in a bloody nose and
a mark on her cheek. The other students waited to have their fill until they
persuaded Louise to stop, which she did after breaking the yardstick on Ms.
Kristoff’s cowering torso. While the class reacted to the beating with shock
and awe, they all felt cathartic on the inside; pleased that Ms. Kristoff got a
taste of her own medicine for each beating she gave her class.
With Ms. Kristoff in a state of
near-unconsciousness and the class speechless, Louise left the room without a
single word and headed into the girl’s room. She splashed some water on her
face and when she looked in the mirror her reflection had a disturbingly large
grin on it.
“Hoo boy, Ms. Kristoff ain’t going to be
bothering you anymore” the reflection said.
“I think I may have gone a little too far
this time,” Louise said.
“Hell, you didn’t go far enough, a few
more good whacks would have done the job.”
“Do you understand what kind of trouble I
could get in by this point? My parents are one thing, but this is a teacher.”
“Did she get in trouble when she was
beating you, or anyone else?”
“No, but that doesn’t mean that I am in
any less trouble.”
“You know what? She did this all in the
name of God, is that the kind of God you want watching over you?”
“Oh knock it off with that God shit! The
point is I am in big trouble right now and I have no time to think about any
questions regarding the existence of God.”
“Okay, chill, this is something else, but
don’t worry about it.”
“Don’t worry about it? I could face
judicial consequences for this!”
Unbeknownst to Louise, her talking gave
her away to the teachers who were looking for her. Two female teachers came
into the bathroom to retrieve her and bring her to the principal’s office.
Louise went obediently, but was too mad at her reflection to care at all about
what was going to happen to her. When Louise was escorted to the principal’s
office, she sat across the principal who looked as though he didn’t have much
regard for what Louise did:
“What you did in that classroom was
unacceptable and intolerable on any account. Do you have anything to say on
behalf of yourself?” the principal said in an unconcerned tone.
“The old witch deserved it” Louise said
uncompromisingly.
Shaken by what he heard, the principal
adjusted his glasses and informed Louise that her parents had been notified and
were coming to pick her up. Completely indifferent to what her parents would
think, Louise exited the principal’s office and went outside to wait for her
parents.
Louise may not have felt justified in
doing what she did to Ms. Kristoff, but it was high time somebody did
something. For every blood vessel broken in the hands of each student, she felt
that it had been repaid. Leaving Ms. Kristoff with the scars of her own weapon,
she only had to wonder how she felt. Louise had wielded the most feared weapon
in the classroom and used it in a way she wouldn’t even have conceived of a
week prior. Louise wasn’t sure she liked this new version of herself, but she
thought it was better than who she was before.
The question of her reflection was
beginning to bother her even more now. The thought of it being the devil hadn’t
escaped her mind and she wasn’t sure what to believe by this point. She was thoroughly convinced that something
was trying to get to her, or it had already made its way inside her mind. If
she saw herself in a mirror, or any reflection, would her reflection begin
talking to her and tell her to do more terrible stuff? As much as she didn’t
want to do those things, she couldn’t help it, something about her psyche
pushed her forward and she couldn’t stop herself. It was at this point that
Louise felt that she was losing grasp of reality, when in reality she had an
all too strong grasp on it.
When her father arrived, he was angry with
her to say the least. Without a word, he signaled for her to come into the car,
which she did also without a word. For a few seconds he did not say anything to
Louise, which bothered her, but when they got to the first stoplight, he asked,
restraining as much rage as possible:
“Give me one good reason why you attacked
Ms. Kristoff.”
“Because she always attacked us and
nobody did anything about it,” Louise said.
“She rapped you kids on the knuckles to
keep you in check, I don’t think that she deserved what you did to her.”
“We didn’t need to be kept in check,
we’re not babies anymore.”
“You need to be taught discipline for
being late.”
“I was only one minute late.”
“Doesn’t matter, you were never late
before, and now you’re slipping. What happened to you Louise?” He said with a
resigned sigh.
Louise did not answer because she
genuinely did not know what was happening either. When they got home, Louise’s
mother was still at work and her father sat her down to talk to her.
“Louise, we don’t want you to see us as
the bad parents here, but we believe that there is only one solution to your
misbehavior. Since tomorrow is Saturday, we figured that we would send you to
the Saturday mass at church,” he said.
“But we usually go on Sunday,” Louise
said.
“I know that, but we feel that you need
to be closer to the Lord himself and confess to the priest.”
“Now he wants me to confess my humanity
to some old guy all in the name of an imaginary older guy in the sky,” Louise
thought to herself.
Since Louise wanted this whole
conversation to be over with, she simply nodded her head and agreed to go, even
though she didn’t want to. What she wanted to do was live her life as how she
saw fit, including getting intimate with Jeremy again, and maybe even having
another drink, despite being under 21. Suffice to say, Louise was not happy and
with all of her repressed rage, she feared that she was going to do something
even worse than what she has already done.
After giving her father a hug, she went
upstairs to wash her face, despite knowing that she would see her reflection
again. Sure enough, when Louise went into the bathroom she saw her and began
talking to herself again.
“Now he wants you to go to mass on
Saturday on top of on Sunday, what kind of crap is this?” the reflection said.
“Well, I mean all I have to do is sit
through another sermon and tell the priest that I slipped up a couple of
times,” Louise said.
“Have these past couple of days taught
you nothing? Didn’t you enjoy being the free spirit that you were made to be?”
“Well…no, but I just…um…er…who are you
anyway?”
“Like you said, I could be the devil. It’s
fine, I really don’t care what you think of me.”
“Well, are you the devil or not?”
“It’s tough to say to people in a state
like this, they get overly paranoid and no answer is the truth in their eyes.
If I say I am, you won’t believe me. If I say I’m not you won’t believe me any
more, I just can’t win when you’re like this.”
“What do you want from me?”
“Simple, to help you out; including
getting you out of this church thing tomorrow.”
“How so?”
“Fire is the best cleanser of all.”
“No…you want me to…that is too far.”
“Oh come on, what are you worried about?
The church doesn’t pay any taxes, it’s not like your burning down the Empire
State Building.”
“It’s not, but that is a destruction of
property that could land me in prison.”
“Oh okay, so I guess that you want to go
back to your old life of being everyone’s shitting girl. If it wasn’t for me
you wouldn’t be where you are today.”
“Causing trouble and everyone questioning
my mental sake?”
“Screw them, you’re you and that’s all
you need to worry about. If you don’t do it, then they’ll make you as much
drone as the next person. They will take away your inhibitions and tell you
that it’s bad to have an abortion, have premarital sex or be gay. Is that a
society you want to be a part of?”
“Well no but-“
“But nothing, either you burn down the
church or they’ll brainwash you with its doctrine that has no more place here
than a human sacrifice.”
Louise thought long and hard about the
situation and decided that she was going to go through with her decision to
burn down her church. Waiting until nightfall, Louise gave no indication that
she was going to carry out what she intended to do. When her mother got home,
she was angry with Louise but calmed down when her father told her that she was
going to Saturday mass. Comfortable that nobody suspected a thing, Louise did
her work, ate dinner and went to her room, lying that she was going to bed. She
waited until 1:00 AM to sneak out of the house, after she knew that her parents
were asleep by that time. Donning on a black hood and jeans, she snuck out of
her room and into the garage where she would fetch a can of gasoline and some
matches.
Once she grabbed what she needed, she
left her house and slyly made her way to the church without raising any
suspicion whatsoever. Taking the back roads of her neighborhood she arrived at
the towering structure that looked big enough to be a place of business as
opposed to a place of worship. Unscrewing the cap of the gas can, she spread
the liquid all around the church and managed to create a sizeable trail for the
flames to travel along. When she was done, she threw the can away and struck a
match as quickly as she could.
Before she lit the church ablaze, she
said in a hushed voice:
“If there truly is a god of some kind out
there, give me a sign in the next ten seconds that I should not go forth with
this.”
Patiently, Louise waited ten seconds and
when the ten seconds were up, she decided that if God wasn’t going to
intervene, then nobody would. Taking the match, she knelt down and lit the
trail of gasoline that she laid on the church. Rapidly, the flame encircled the
base of the church before travelling up the walls, at first slowly, but then it
gained velocity and went up the walls faster and faster. Eventually the church
was engulfed in flames up to the cross on the steeple.
The flames were visible from at least two
blocks away and seemed to get brighter by the second. Louise planned on making
a quick getaway, but could not help but stand and stare at what she did. The
house of God itself was easily burned by mortal flames and burned disturbingly
quickly. Louise was in awe that the establishment for worship of one of the
most popular gods in history could be destroyed this easily. Maybe her
reflection was right and that underneath the dogma, there really wasn’t
anything of substance. Of course there was the whole message of peace, but man
had twisted and changed the meaning so many times that nobody knows what
Christianity’s true meaning is anymore. Louise was worried that what she did
was maybe the right thing and that the church needed to be loosened from her
community and from her life. Then again, she was worried what would become of
her when she was no more. It was a scary thought to think, but Louise decided
that nothing could scare her anymore than what she had just done.
Unfortunately, Louise stood too long
amongst the burning church and was apprehended by the police when they showed
up. When they searched her, they found the box of matches on her and her hands
smelled of gas. Putting up no resistance, Louise allowed them to handcuff her
and put her in the backseat of the car. When they arrived at the station, they
placed her in a temporary cell and allowed her to stay there until morning,
which didn’t take too long.
When morning came, her parents picked her
up from the station, signed some papers and took her home. Nobody said anything
on the ride home; her parents had the look of defeat in their faces and knew
that there was no hope by that point. Once home, Louise’s father instructed
Louise to dress into some nice clothes for her trial in the afternoon.
Obediently she went upstairs into her room to change into some nicer clothes
and wondering what her reflection had to say about all this. After changing,
she went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She saw her reflection,
but it didn’t talk to her.
The reflection Louise saw was nothing
more than a typical mirror’s reflection and echoed her every movement.
Confounded at this, she demanded that her reflection begin talking to her;
still, there was nothing except her frantic self being reflected by the mirror.
Feeling nauseous with confusion, she decided that it would be better that her
reflection didn’t talk to her and that she leave it be. Feeling a wash of
mystification come over her, she dressed into some nicer clothes and met her
parents downstairs to go to the trial. Wanting for everything to be over with
she got into the car with her parents and began driving to the courthouse.
“Louise…may we just ask you one
question?” Her father asked timidly.
“Yes?” Louise responded equally timidly.
“Why have you been doing all this stuff
and acting this way? It isn’t like you.”
“I…I don’t know, something came over me
and I wanted to...I…I don’t know.”
“Okay, that’s all we need to know.”
Without another word, the three of them
arrived to the courthouse. They were only fifteen minutes early, but when they
walked in there was no judge, no jury, no lawyers, absolutely nobody. After
waiting for fifteen minutes when the trial was supposed to begin, absolutely
nobody showed up. Louise nor her parents knew what to make of the situation.
